


Guns and Roses

by LunaEarnshaw



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love Triangle, Mostly Cannon Compliant, Opposing Ideologies, Rare Pairing, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, but know that vaxleth is not endgame for this fic (sorry), confused!Keyleth, hope the tags haven't been misleading, later cannon divergence, percleth is endgame, pining!Percy, there will be enough vaxleth moments that i'm leaving that tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaEarnshaw/pseuds/LunaEarnshaw
Summary: Percy and Keyleth are best friends with vastly different values, ideologies, and world views. They need each other to be their best selves. But the world and their own selves seem to be getting in the way.(Essentially, a look at the series starting from episode 33/the last bit of the Briarwoods arc and slowly making my way onward through the lens of Percy and Keyleth starting to develop feelings for each other and feeling very conflicted about that.)cannon compliant mostly, but will probably diverge from cannon eventually





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for episode 33 Reunions.

Everything was smoke and blood. Thoughts swirled through Percy’s mind at maddening speed: the elimination of two of the names on his gun, the cruelty of the Briarwoods, Delilah’s taunts, Silas’s laughter, the discovery that Cassandra was still alive, frustration with Vax’s stupidity and relief that he was alright, Ripley’s escape, and the fear of his own cruelty, of this _thing_ , this dream that was more than a dream, inside of him. A single voice cut through the chaos of his mind.

“You know I’m in love with you, right?”

Percy looked up. It was Vax. He was speaking to Keyleth. And Vax leaned in to kiss her. He pulled back waiting for a response. Percy knew his friend well, but anyone who was looking would be able to see that Keyleth was surprised and uncertain. Her slender fingers twisted through a few strands of bright copper hair nervously, and she was making small, uncertain noises in the back of her throat.

He was just buying his friend more time, Percy told himself as he stepped forward and treated Vax to a lengthy lecture about waiting for others so as not to get himself killed. Percy tried not to think too much about if Keyleth’s reaction to his intervention was relief or disappointment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Enjoy.

The sun shone on Whitestone for the first time in years. And they had Keyleth to thank for that. The sight of her, head tilted up to the sun, hand on the bark of the weary Sun Tree whispering to it softly, was of almost otherworldly beauty. Vax’ildan appeared beside her, slinking out of the shadows, seemingly appearing from nowhere. Percival turned his back on the pair beneath the Sun Tree, and headed to Whitestone castle.

For the next two weeks Keyleth avoided Vax. Vax avoided everyone except Percy. And Percy kept himself busy with the rebuilding of Whitestone’s government.

 Percy wasn’t expecting to get a Winter’s Crest gift from anyone. Which was fine; he hadn’t gotten anyone anything either. He was prepared to feel guilty for not getting Keyleth anything, but it turned out to be a different sort of gift, a very Keyleth sort of gift. And she was right, strange of course, but right. He wouldn’t forget and he would try to be better, he promised himself and her. He thanked her.

 “You’re strange, you know that?” Percy told her.

 “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry,” she replied.

 “Don’t be. We like it.” His hand seemed to move of it’s own accord as it tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t change.”

 “I’m glad you didn’t change.”

 They fell into a hug, and for a brief moment it was like the rest of the world had faded. His hands tangled in her flaming locks. She pressed her forehead into his shoulder; his blue coat was soft and warm. They pulled back slightly. Behind his glasses his eyes were soft. Then she caught sight of the edge of a cloak disappearing into the darkness.

  _Vax._

“Vax!” Keyleth called after him.

 “Right, Vax,” Percy remembered, feeling colder as Keyleth stepped away. He started walking away.

 “No, Percy, wait!” Keyleth called after him, but he, like Vax, was already gone.

 Keyleth sunk to the ground pressing her back to a tree. Did Percy like her? Did Vax really? And did each think she liked the other? It was all new to her, this sort of thing. She didn’t know what she wanted. Did she want Percy to kiss her just then? Did she want Vax to have kissed her by the Sun Tree two weeks ago? Suddenly she laughed at the absurdity of the situation. She had to men who probably liked her, and no one to kiss for Winter’s Crest. She couldn’t even talk to them to figure out how she felt. She sunk further onto the ground, so that she was lying on her back, making flame hands for warmth. As she looked up at the stars she thought of the kiss she’d had with Vax, and the kiss she might’ve had with Percy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome. -Luna Earnshaw


	3. Chapter 3

            After Winter’s Crest they returned to Emon to be met with an unpleasant surprise.

            “Are we bad friends?” Keyleth asked Percy as she watered her garden.

            “I… I didn’t think so,” Percy said from his perch in the large oak tree, which was one of his favorite spots to sketch. “Maybe. Maybe he’s just on a different path.”

           “But we’re Vox Machina, the SHITs, we do everything together, or we did. Is this… Is this it? Tiberius is gone. Pike’s not with us most of the time. Vax goes off on his own all the time, now.” Percy’s chest tightened a little at Keyleth’s mention of Vax’s name. “So is this… over?”

            Percy watched a ladybug land on his sketch pad and crawl across his sketch of an improved version of Ripley’s gun. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly.

            Keyleth poked at a stunted rose bush and muttered a cantrip under her breath. The plant grew a few inches; it’s petals opening and becoming brighter and bigger. “It’s just, I should have noticed. I mean, I knew something wasn’t like it used to be, but I don’t know. I should have done something earlier.” 

            Percy watched the ladybug fly away. He didn’t make a wish, but if he were to make a wish it would be for Tiberius to come back to them. But he was a man of science; he didn’t believe in wishing on ladybugs. He felt guilty, particularly because while he was a questionable friend, Keyleth was a good one, and she would have been able to help Tiberius if she hadn’t been distracted with Percy’s problems. If it weren’t for his vengeance quest in Whitestone, they all would have made sure they were still going the same way as Tiberius. Percy couldn’t bring himself to say any of this. Instead he said, “I miss him.”

            “Me too,” said Keyleth.

            The ladybug landed on the newly enlarged rose.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: drinking and vomit

            Vox Machina went drinking that night, and Keyleth got wasted.

            “I don’t feel good,” she mumbled weakly.

            “C’mon,” Percy said gently taking her by the elbow and quickly guiding her outside the bar.

            She managed to make it to the door before druidcrafting onto the cobblestone street. Percy held her hair out of her face.

            “Oh, fuck,” she moaned, dimly registering that she was going to feel so embarrassed once she stopped being preoccupied with feeling terrible physical agony.

            Percy rubbed soothing circles into her back. “There you go,” he said “Let it all out. Is that everything?”

            Keyleth slowly righted herself up and took a few calming breaths. It seemed to be passing. “I think,” she began, then stopped herself, “no, never mind.” And she threw up again. A little of the vomit splashed onto Percy’s shoe. “I am so sorry,” she managed to choke out between retches. _Nice going, Keyleth,_ she thought to herself miserably, _a charming, handsome guy who maybe likes you and currently has his strong sexy arms around you, and you puke on his shoes. Oh, good job. Very attractive._

            “Don’t worry about it,” Percy told her.

            “How is she?” Keyleth heard Pike say from the other side of her. Percy gave Pike a look of she’s-not-great-but-hey-maybe-there’s-a-lesson-in-there-somewhere. Pike nodded, and turning to Keyleth said, “Alright Keyleth, here, this should help.” And she pulled Keyleth into a warm hug casting Lesser Restoration.

            The churning feeling in Keyleth’s gut faded. The world was still spinning, but like in a fun way. The air was cool and refreshing on her skin. She found she no longer needed to lean on Percy for support, but it was so nice, so why not?

            “Well, I suppose we learned what maybe not to…” Percy began.

            “I feel great,” Keyleth declared happily. “Another bottle!”

            “I spoke too soon,” amended Percy. “Come on let’s get you home.”

            But Keyleth didn’t want the evening to end. She didn’t want to think about consequences. She wanted to lean into Percy’s chest and not have to think about what that meant. She wanted to be able to take his hand without wondering if it was wrong to like him, if she should stop leaning closer to her friend and run away from the murderer with the sinister bird mask. She didn’t want to think about vampires and demons. She didn’t want to think about what Vax and Gilmore might have been talking about or what she was supposed to feel about that. Most of all, she dreaded the next day when she was certain someone would show up at their door needing them to do something. And aimless, directionless, as Vox Machina now was, they would do it, and Keyleth would be swept along with them, wondering if she could even tell right from wrong anymore.

            She let herself stay drunk and happy and leaning into Percy, and allowed herself, with reluctance, to be guided back to the Keep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, concerns, criticisms? -Luna Earnshaw


	5. Chapter 5: Drinks and Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains descriptions of violence, including violence to children (because this is the fun character I chose to write about, why do I do this to myself?) Oh and also Keyleth being drunk.

            Keyleth was still drunk when they get back to Greyskull Keep, but much to her chagrin she was sobering up a little with every minute. “Goddammit Cordel, we pay you,” she mumbled to no one in particular, as her calls for another bottle were shouted down by the rest of her party, _the traitors_. Dimly, she registered the conversation around her. She saw Vax’s mouth moving, and a part of her brain recognized that he was negotiating something with Dr. Dranzel, but most of her mind was preoccupied with the shape of his lips, how his bottom lip stuck out slightly, and how he made that slight grimace with the right side of his lip curling up when he was thinking particularly about something distasteful. She wondered what was upsetting him now, but she couldn’t follow what he’s saying. Still his voice sounded pretty. _He has a pretty voice and pretty lips, and his lips are soft, too. I know that because he kissed me,_ Keyleth drunkenly thought to herself, letting out something between a giggle and a sigh. Then Vax was reaching out to shake hands with Dr. Dranzel. This gave Keyleth pause. “Wait, what did we just agree to?” she asked.

           No one seemed to have heard her or else they didn’t want to answer, and Keyleth soon forgot she had asked anything at all because _there was this fabric that’s just really soft, you know? It was soft and nice and very distracting._ As Keyleth ran her fingers through the velvety materials, she came across something hard and metal. It felt cool and pleasant against her palm. _Huh_ thought Keyleth. She wasn’t supposed to find metal pleasant. Metal had no place among the Ashari people. Her armor was made of leather, because they protected nature and the balance of the elements, and would wear only that which nature gave freely. Metalworking was a thing that belonged to man, not to nature. Keyleth’s hand closed around the confusingly pleasant metal, and she found it to be round and small. She brushed her fingertips against it and found that there was an engraving (or was it an embossing? she couldn’t remember the difference) on the little metal piece. She amused herself for a while tracing the design with her fingers. In her drunken state she still could not understand what it was. Sluggishly, she moved her head to see what it was. It was Percy’s button sitting amidst the blue velvety fabric of his coat with the de Rolo crest on it. As she continued tracing the symbol, she remembered how she had written it with clouds above Whitestone. _I hope we did the right thing_ , Keyleth thought.

            She must have said it out loud because Percy said, “We did. It may be the only thing we did right, but we did. And I am more grateful than you could imagine.” He kissed her forehead.

            And then everything was warm and nice and smelled of Percy for a little while. She must have fallen asleep because she was being shaken awake by Percy. He gently pulled her to her feet and guided her to her room.

            “G’night, Keyleth,” he said pushing her in. She collapsed into bed.

            “G’night, Percy,” was her muffled reply from a faceful of pillow.

            That night Keyleth dreamt of the dead child dangling from the Sun Tree. She tried to cut the child down from the tree but he turned into Lord Briarwood leering over Vax’s unconscious body. Keyleth set him aflame with magic from her staff, but he turned into the child that Keyleth had killed. Keyleth tried to put the fire out, but to no avail. The smoke rising from the burning child coalesced to make a shape, a familiar figure in a long nosed mask.

            Keyleth woke up to a cold sweat and a terrible hangover.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up we get some of Percy's perspective. And oh my Pelor, am I updating daily? what is this? have I jinxed it? Find out tomorrow! -Best, Luna Earnshaw


	6. Chapter 6: Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I jinxed it, sorry! But it's here now. This takes place during the last two chapters (early episode 38, Echoes of the Past), but from Percy's perspective.

            The universe was simply unfair, Percy decided. He’d always thought that if you had a crush on someone, if they did something like say for example puke on your boots, this would make you like them less. You weren’t supposed to find the way they wiped their mouth oddly charming. Keyleth retched again, and Percy held her hair out of her face. _Yes, definitely not fair._

            Not that he was certain he had a crush on Keyleth, mind you. A part of him sighed internally, as if to say _who the fuck do you think you’re kidding, de Rolo?_ Though still he wasn’t sure crush was the right word. _Semantics,_ said the traitorous part of him dismissively, _face it, you like her._

            Pike soon came to Keyleth’s aid, and the sickness passed, leaving Keyleth happier and wilder than before. She clung to his arm the entire way back to Greyskull Keep. Percy tried not to think about the feel of her hands on his arm. He tried not to think of the smell of earth and roses from her hair as the cool night wind passed through it. He tried not to think about the electricity that seemed to be sparking along his side as her side brushed and sometimes even pressed against his. He tried not to count the freckles on her neck or look into her green eyes. He tried very hard to keep his mind from going anywhere untoward, to focus only on being a good, helpful friend who was simply allowing Keyleth to hold on to his arm in order to better guide her safely back home. But as the shot of firewater gradually crept in and clouded his mind, Percy sighed and placed a hand over one of the hands on his arm. Keyleth looked up and gave him a big smile, hitting him with the full force of those beautiful green eyes. All thoughts of platonic and neighborly kindness swiftly departed from Percy’s mind. His heart felt as though it had jumped into his throat and was persisting in thumping there very quickly and violently. For the rest of the night, _and only tonight_ he told himself weakly, he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness of Keyleth as she held on to him until late into the night. With reluctance, as her head was nearly dropping to the table from exhaustion, he walked her to her room and wished her a good night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know your thoughts. Best to all! -Luna Earnshaw


	7. Chapter 7: Drifting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Vax's perspective and takes the day after the last chapter. It also contains my take on what Vax did after leaving General Krieg's house.

           Vox Machina had never felt as directionless as it did now. Even when they had first met, despite much mutual hostility and distrust, they had still had a purpose. And Vax, who was perhaps the group’s biggest worrier, felt this slide from any sort of path most acutely of all. He looked over his fellow adventurers. Pike, who Vax had admired for so long for her goodness and generosity, was picking the lock on the gate to what had been General Krieg’s house. Grog was already within the yard glaring back at him and mocking Keyleth’s reservations. Scanlan still seemed off from whatever had passed between him and the young gnome musician the other night. His own dear sister, Vex’ahlia, had a determination set in her face and an almost malicious glint in her eye that Vax knew could mean only one thing, she was about to do something very questionable all in the interest of getting gold. Vax looked at Keyleth, who looked like she wanted to be there even less than Vax did.

            _“Why are we doing this?” Keyleth had declared at the Keep throwing her hands up in frustration. They’d tried to bullshit her, but Keyleth was unimpressed. “Percy, look me in the eye and tell me the truth,” she had said grabbing a hold of his shoulders. And Percival had told her. How could he not?_

_As always, the group pitched in with a myriad of excuses and dismissals, all talking over each other. It was Percival who had managed to persuade her to come with them in the end. “To keep us honest” he had said. And Keyleth sighed, but agreed to come along after that._

            Vax looked at Percival. Percival had his hands in the pockets of his big blue coat. His expression was unreadable. Vax crossed his arms. Vax didn’t buy Percy’s claims that he wasn’t interested in stealing from the house.

           A click and a creak interrupted Vax’s musings. Pike looked up at him with a smile. “It was just luck, Vax,” she said handing him his lock picks back. Vax sighed, and followed the others in.

            After the most ill-advised adventure Vox Machina had been on, which was saying something, Vax felt the full force of his premonitions being confirmed. He withdrew from the group after that. He needed time alone, time to think. He wandered the streets of Emon, taking back alleyways and secret passageways and walking along rooftops, places that only a select few knew. Vax loved cities, especially cities like Emon. At first he’d thought it was because they allowed him to be anyone, but with time he came to understand without bitterness that it was because they allowed him to be no one. Stalking through the shadows of Emon, catching the sounds of people going about their daily lives, Vax felt as though it was like he had never existed. A soundless sigh of something almost like relief passed through his lips. And then he realized where he was.

            In his eagerness to get away from himself and his problems, he hadn’t noticed where his feet were carrying him. Vax found himself standing in front of the Leore’s butcher shop. The house seemed dark and empty, no sign of the boy or his father. A simple, beaten up “Closed” sign was nailed lopsidedly to the door. Vax stood for a while, hidden in the shadows watching the silent house. Vax had messed up majorly with Kynan, and that would have its consequences, because Vax wasn’t no one anymore. They had influence, power, and that had consequences. The days of just surviving were over. The days of the SHITs were over. They were Vox Machina now. And what they did mattered. He sighed, realizing more than ever how right Keyleth always was to check their fuck-it attitudes and remind them of the lives of real people at stake. Yes, what they did mattered. And if they didn’t know what they were doing, well, that was a _very_ bad sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, thanks for sticking around and reading! I would love to know your thoughts, especially on this Vax chapter because I find him harder to write than Percy and Kiki. Tips and tricks for understanding and writing Vax anyone? Or anything else? (Also, how great was that last episode (99)?)  
> <3 Luna Earshaw


	8. Skulls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the skull conflict of episode 40.

            “Keyleth.”

           The name came instinctively to Percy’s lips. If he could only have one person with him as he did something very risky with Grog, it was going to be Keyleth. It was mostly because he trusted Keyleth, trusted her more than himself at that point. If he had learned anything in Whitestone, he’d learned that. He trusted her goodness and trusted her to stop him from doing anything wrong, even if it meant hurting him. A part of it though was that if the whole world came crashing down around them, having Keyleth at his side didn’t seem like a bad way to go.

            “Or Vax,” he added a little reluctantly, but then shook off the feeling. Vax was good people, and he didn’t trust Percy. That was exactly the kind of voice they needed right now. _It’s why he and Keyleth are perfect for each other_ , Percy thought with half-hearted resentment, _and why I_ _don’t stand a chance._ But now was not the time for self-pity or feeding the jealous demon that appeared to have taken up residence in Percy’s chest, no matter how punchable Vax’s face was looking these days. There were dragons in Emon. He couldn’t afford to be petty.

            Grog didn’t seem happy, but he went upstairs nevertheless. The moment the door shut behind Grog, Percy whipped out the sinister humanoid skull from its hiding place. An image of Keyleth’s look of disappointment flickered through his mind almost stopping him in his tracks. He looked down at the raven skull she had given him. _Better than we could have been, remember, Percy?_ said the Keyleth in his mind. _I’m sorry, Kiki_ , Percy thought, _but I’m a terrible person._ He looked away from the raven skull, and towards the arcane humanoid one.

           “Okay, talk. You have my attention.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, wow, thanks!  
> <3 Luna Earnshaw


End file.
